3 months in, this transition has been hard

Cassandra & I around Tauroa in the early 2000’s.

Let me paint a picture. Cassandra and I have been together since we were 16. Every now and again, she reminds me how she actually asked me out when we were 12, up on the field at Ahipara School. Apparently, I just shrugged and said “whatever.” Aue, aroha mai.

We’ve done everything together. She moved in with me when I was 16 — which blows my mind now that I’ve got daughters of my own. Times have definitely changed.

After Kaitaia College, we had a gran plan: buy a van and move to Nelson to pick fruit. Our dean at the time called us into her office and asked, “So what are your plans after college?” We proudly told her about the van and fruit-picking idea. Safe to say, she wasn’t impressed.

The next day, she called us in again. Same question. I was like, “Do you not remember the gran plan?” She just shook her head. Then she said, “What about university?” We both replied, “Nah, not for us — we’ve got the van plan.”

She told us she’d managed to get us both scholarships to AUT University. “Does that change anything?”

I said, “Not really.” She sent us away to think about it.

That night, while cooking deep-fried chicken in the shed, we talked it over. Cassandra said, “If we do this, we’d be the first in our whānau to go to university. That could change everything. The van plan can wait.”

So, that’s how we ended up in Auckland. Didn’t know what to study. Didn’t know not every bus stop takes you home. We had a van that only had a driver’s side mirror, so the first time we hit the motorway, Cassandra had to stick her head out the window so we could change lanes.

Over the years we’ve travelled. Nearly died working on a cheese farm in the south of France. Went to the tomato festival. Had dinner with lords, and slept on an air mattress with a slow leak. I nailed a foot pump to a tree so I could top it up during the night — did that for two weeks.

We’ve both had opportunities. Cassandra got offered a law placement with a Queen’s Counsel in Auckland, with law school costs covered. She turned it down to support the family farm in Karori. It’s since been sold.

While at uni, I was offered a fast track to becoming a GM for an international hotel chain — but I turned it down to go travelling instead. Since then, I’ve held numerous roles in tech, stepped up as a team lead in engineering, and even had the honour of serving as Xero’s Cultural Ambassador for Aotearoa.

Those decisions — those roads not taken — are all part of our story. They’re what we bring to this business.

When we moved back to Wellington, my career started to gain traction. Eventually, we didn’t need two incomes. I worked, Cassandra took care of the whare — and everything else that came with it.

This transition has flipped the script. Now Cassandra heads off to mahi, and I’m the one running the whare.

We used to talk about the invisible workforce — the mama’s doing the real mahi, the kind that keeps everything ticking. I helped out a bit, but if I’m honest, not nearly enough.

Now that I’m in it, I can see the detail and relentlessness it takes. Managing inventory, washing schedules, keeping the kids fed, present, and not just babysat by Aunty iPad or Uncle Android.

This change hasn’t just affected me — the kids have felt it too. They were used to Mum being more present and Dad working in the tari. Now I’m just… home.

When we talked about taking over the business, we had to figure out who should be the face — who would step into Dad’s shoes.

At first glance, it seemed obvious it would be me. But when we looked closer, the best move was actually for it to be Cassandra. I’d be the Scottie Pippen to her Michael Jordan.

When it came to flooring, colour, vinyl, design — the few houses we’ve done, every renovation — Cassandra led those decisions. So we decided to lean into that observation and have her be the pau, be the point. 

There aren’t many wahine-led flooring businesses. That stood out to us. It still makes sense.

Cassandra’s doing an amazing job running the show and learning the ropes. Me? I’m finding my rhythm — the timing of washing, cooking, cleaning. It’s coming together. I’m learning a lot.

Just like Jordan and Pippen — neither of them won alone. It was the partnership that brought Chicago six championships.

We’re hoping this new chapter brings more wins than losses too.